Command
Respect

Icebreaker

Command Respect. Don't Demand It.

• Demanding respect—through your title, your volume, or fear—buys you compliance, and only while you are watching.
• Commanding respect—through competence, character, and consistency—earns you people who follow when you are not.
• Rank can make people obey. Only conduct makes them believe.
• The goal is not to be feared, or even liked. It is to be trusted.

A Word From a General

• Colin Powell rose from a rifle platoon to four-star general, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, and Secretary of State.
• Asked to define effective leadership, his answer came down to one word: trust.
• “Leadership ultimately comes down to creating conditions of trust within an organization.” Good leaders are the ones followers trust.
• Trust and respect are the same currency—and you cannot order either one. You earn both.

Follow You Out of Curiosity

• Early in his career at Fort Benning, a sergeant told a young Lieutenant Powell he would know he was a good leader when his people would follow him “if only out of curiosity.”
• Powell called it the best definition he ever heard. They follow into the unknown for one reason: they trust you.
• That trust is earned—they have seen you serve them, prepare them, and share their risks.
• Build it, and they will follow you through the hardest nights and the steepest climbs, on your word alone.

How Respect Is Earned

Never Let Them See You Shaken

• The old rule at the infantry school: no matter how cold, hungry, or terrified you are, the leader never lets it show.
• Because whatever you show, your people will feel—your fear becomes their fear, and your calm becomes their calm.
• Powell admitted he was often scared and exhausted, and still said, “Let's go around this corner.”
• Your composure under pressure is one of the fastest ways to earn a section's respect.

Powell's Rules to Lead By

• “Remain calm. Be kind.” Pressure is exactly when your people are watching how you treat them.
• “Get mad, then get over it.” Feel it, then lead past it—grudges cost you respect.
• “Share credit.” Take the blame, give the credit, every single time.
• “Have a vision. Be demanding.” High standards, held with care, are a form of respect.
• “Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” Your belief lifts the whole section.

Command vs. Demand

What It Looks Like Here

• Be the standard before you set it—on time, in uniform, and prepared, every time.
• Know your craft cold. Competence earns respect faster than any speech.
• Serve first: carry the water, remove the obstacles, and take the hardest job yourself.
• Stay calm when it goes wrong. Your composure is contagious.
• Keep your word, and do the small things right. Trust is built in the details.